Feeling that same old empty feeling in my heart :( I’m just so fucking ruined. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over this.
Why did this happen to me? Why did I have to be the one fooled by false love? All I ever did was love someone unconditionally :/
"You are all four seasons rolled into one. You’re like the cold December snow in the warm July sun."
Oh my love
You don’t know
What you do to me
So 2 months I declared celibacy. A lot of people don’t understand my reasons, and that’s fine. All that matters is what it means to me. I have been cheated on, verbally abused, lied to, and heart broken. And ever since he called off our engagement, I’ve had guys non stop try to have sex with me. I only gave in to one, and I felt so empty and used. I then told myself I would wait for someone who was remotely close to being worth my time. I’m on a journey to finding my self worth, because I have way more to offer than my body and one night of pleasure. If I’m going to be intimate with someone, I don’t want it just for pleasure. I want to connect with them in more ways than one. I want to share common interests like music, hobbies, and mostly importantly personality. I should be out having meaningless sex because I just got out of a shitty engagement, but I’ve come to realize that I get attached to someone easily, therefore I’d rather share sex with someone who will not see my as a one time thing. My body and mind are very valuable to me, I can’t just give it away to half hearted, egotistical, self absorbed, mindless douches.
I won’t tell anyone this because talk is cheap, but I want to stick with it. It’s definitely not easy, but I know it will be worth it.